"On two occasions, we see a flash of anger from the president, when his son Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) wants to join the army against his parents' wishes, and when his wife confronts him about the unmentionable subject of their late son, and their unspeakable burden of grief and guilt. Most of the time, Lincoln's emotions and energies are encoded in the opaque language of diplomacy and politics: when he is openly angry, he seems poignantly weak and vulnerable."
My paraphrase of the selected passage is:
Bradshaw says that there are two instances where we see the president express anger. The first is when Robert, his son played by Joseph Garden-Levitt) wishes to enlist in the army, despite his parents' disapproval. The other was the time when his wife brings up the topic of their dead son because this unveils the hardships and intense emotions surrounding this topic. For the majority of the film, Lincoln weaves his emotions into his beliefs which seems to strengthen him, but when he displays anger we see his "vulnerable" side.
"Late son" is a little too similar to the original wording. You never said that his emotions are hidden by politics.
ReplyDeleteOk, but I'd start the paraphrase with "My paraphrase of the passage is-", just because the teacher told us to. Maybe replace anger and vulnerable? Also, the form of the paraphrase feels a bit too similar to the actual comment.
ReplyDeleteYour paraphrase gets off to a great start. Maybe it would be more accurate to say we see the president EXPRESS his anger, rather than just have it. I have no issues with this part of your paraphrase:
ReplyDeleteBradshaw says that there are two instances where we see the president have anger. The first is when Robert, his son played by Joseph Garden-Levitt) wishes to enlist in the army, despite his parents' disapproval. The other was the time when his wife brings up the topic of their dead son.
Here, I would just add the word, "because" and continue with what you have written, without making it a separate sentence:
[t]his unveils the hardships and intense emotions surrounding this topic.
By adding 'because" you expand on the reason for Lincoln's outburst to his wife, and idea which is present implicitly in the original text you're working with.
The last sentence of your paraphrase does not capture the source's original meaning, so it needs revising. I'll paste in my own paraphrase of your passage below, so that you can see the meaning the author is intending to convey when he writes, "Most of the time, Lincoln's emotions and energies are encoded in the opaque language of diplomacy and politics: when he is openly angry, he seems poignantly weak and vulnerable."
Let me know when you've revised it and republished it and I'll recheck it! Thanks
In the movie, Lincoln, the president is twice shown demonstrating angry emotions, once because of his son’s desire to play a fighting role in the military despite the fact that his parent’s don’t want him to do so, and again when he reacts with exasperation to his wife’s pain and loss over death of another of their sons. These instances stand out because Lincoln is usually so skillful at keeping his emotions in check, so that they serve his strategic purposes in solving diplomatic or political issues. In fact, it is when he gives in to his emotions, as in the two outbursts mentioned, that he seems the least powerful.